Warped Into the Mind of an OtherDimensional Teen
by iSnowyBlizzard
Summary: Two young, hormonal teenagers find themselves warped into a different dimension! Luckily, it's one they know well. But are they in for more danger than they thought? -Maybe OC/Canon pairings later.
1. Forgot To Shave

"Oh my gosh! Jamie! Jamie!" My grin was wider than it had been for a loonnng time. "I'm so excited! I can't believe your here! In Colorado!" I continued to squeal. Jamie just stood in front of me with her pack on her shoulder grinning at my antics. We had already finished our welcome hugging ritual.

I grabbed her hand and dragged her into my room, skipping every now and then. "I'm going to take you to Orange Julius, and take you to the mall, and Ross, and - OH! And I'm definitely going to take you to work! Bring-your-friend-to-work day at the modeling agency! Oh gosh! I wonder if they'll let you!" I stood there and jumped up and down while she set her bag someplace. "Come on! Let me show you the house!"

This was the first time she had ever come to see me in Colorado, so it was a big deal for me. I just HAD to give her the grand tour!

Once again, I grabbed her hand and drug her around. I showed her all around upstairs, explaining various thing's like, "I can't believe the last people who lived here. This bathroom had a trapdoor thingy and they ruined it! They, like, totally dumbed down the house before we moved in. Did you know there was a patio in the back? And they removed it! Ugh! And there was a tunnel underground that led to the whore house," So let me explain that. We lived in a one hundred year-old house that used to belong to the Mafia of that time era. "But I think they filled it in with cement. They probably didn't want anyone seeing the dead bodies!" We both laughed. So we have a weird sense of humor. So what?

"You dork." She said, with a grin on her face. I grinned back, then dragged her downstairs. We ran into one of our renters. It was the wife of the guy who was renting there. I honestly don't like her too well. She has a SERIOUS attitude!

So, I ignored her and explained later who she was.

"And this," I gestured like a show-host girl to my Xbox. "Is my baby. And later I shall make you play X-Men with me! Mwuahaha!"

Then I dragged her to our trapdoor tunnel thing, where... Actually, I don't _know_ what's really in there. It was always too dark to see anything, and it gave me the heebie jeebies.

But having Jamie there with me made me lose my mind and just walk in there anyway.

"And this is where-"

I must have tripped or something, because I felt the floor under me give away to nothing. Except, a few seconds passed, and I didn't feel my face plant on the floor. I just felt myself keep falling.

"AAAAAHH!"

That's when I realized I still had hold of Jamie's hand.

"Jamie? Jamie!" I called. I felt my hand being squeezed and heard her scream, too. Well, at least she was there. Right? I wasn't alone.

"What the heck is going on?" I yelled, feeling my spine leave me. It was like being on that one ride in the carnival where they drop you really really quick. Except, it didn't stop. We just kept falling.

That's when Jamie decided to be Jamie. "AAAAH! This is like that horrible dramatic T.V. show Inuyasha!" And then, as if we WEREN'T in mortal danger of falling someplace horrible, she starts mimicking with her free hand what the characters look like. "I love you! I hate you! I love you! I hate you! Oh, now she's dead, so I love you again!"

I looked down, still holding her hand, and saw a square of light at the apparent bottom.

I looked back at her, and saw she was looking where I was. Then she looked at me again, then covered her face with her free hand like a vampire would if they were seduced to sunshine. "Don't look into the light!"

Yep. That's Jamie for you.

I grinned, despite the growing fear of hitting whatever bottom may be down there.

I looked down and felt my grin vanish. The square was RIGHT underneath us now.

And then, it was like we weren't dropping through a giant square of white. It was like a giant flash of light went off, and then we were falling down a few feet from the ceiling of a hallway.

Once again, the screaming.

Oof!

"Oh gosh.. What happened?" I asked.

"Get.. Off.. Me." Jamie struggled to say.

I sat up and looked down. Lo and behold, there was Jamie, squished underneath my weight.

I grinned and got off her. "Sorry."

She just huffed. "How the hell did this happen?_ You _walked into the room first, not me!"

I laughed. "It's your famous bad luck," I said.

She grumbled, even though she was clearly smiling. We both looked around. We were in a hallway that looked like it belonged in a Mansion.

"You know, this hallway looks really familiar.." I started. She looked over at me. "I was thinking the same thing."

And then, we saw him. My first husband. (Long story short:[At least, I hope you'll get the drift by it] Husband list: 1. Kurt. 2. Bao-Dur. 3. Orange Julius. 4. Orange Juice. 5. Coffee. 6. Daddy. No, not my father. My nickname for Jamie is Daddy, and her nickname for me is Mommy. Which, that just leads us to yet another story. Let's just get on with the present one, shall we?) The very fictional character that I spent endless hours researching and reading on just so I knew every single bit of information about. The character who I knew if he was real, I would definitely be the first person in line to-

"Ah you okay?" He asked. I looked at him, mouth agape. Jamie had pretty much the same expression.

"Ve heahd a crash and zen ve came ower here to check, and dere you ah! Vhere did you come from?" (Maybe his accent was laid on a little thick. But I hope you understand what he said.)

I just stared.

After a few moments of gaping, I looked back to Jamie, who, quite to my surprise, now looked very casual about the situation.

"Yep. I'm dreaming." She said.

I looked back at the guy, then back to Jamie, then back to the guy.

"That... Is either a really good costume.. Or.."

The blue 'elf' looked offended. "Excuse me?"

I looked back at Jamie, my eyes as big as dinner plates. I could feel the shock wearing off and a grin spreading on my face. "Jamie.." I drawled. She just shook her head, already knowing what I was thinking. "No, Tessa. Just no."

I looked back at the blue person, then back at Jamie. My grin was even wider than it had been when I was showing her my house.

"Well doesn't it make sense? I mean, we DID just fall through.. Nothing," Okay, so I admit, I should have had precaution before assuming we were in an X-Men universe, but hey. What are you gonna do. No changing the past.

She looked around a little, then looked back at me. "No." She simply said.

"Uh, helloo?" A different voice. I looked up and saw someone that I very truly didn't recognize. He had dirty blond hair and... AMAZING.. blue eyes.

He waved at us, "We're still here, y'know."

I grinned. "Of course. My apologies," I had to SERIOUSLY dampen my urge to do a fangirl squeal and jump around. "Me and my friend are new here. In fact, we were-" I looked over at Jamie, who was jumping up and trying to touch the ceiling we fell from. "Uhh... What are you doing, Jamie?"

She stopped mid-jump and looked at me before continuing.

"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm finding the white square we fell out from!"

Not joking, I seriously made this face: :|

I leapt onto my feet and just stared some more at the two people.

After a few moments, I finally said, "I just know someone is going to pop up soon and say, 'Ha-ha! Joke's on you!'"

The blue boy and the blonde boy exchanged glances, pretty much with the expression, 'What the-?'

See, I wanted to believe it. I really did. But honestly. They don't exist. So why should I believe it?

Only one way to find out.

I resisted the urge to shrug and instead just stepped up to the blue person, index finger outstretched. He looked at me like I was crazy and jerked away.

"Hey! I'm not going to hurt you. Just hold still," I told him. He still looked at me like I was crazy. But, much to my thanks, he did as I told him to.

So with that, I poked his face. Then I looked at my finger, then I frowned. There was no blue makeup. I looked up at him again, still frowning, and got mesmerized by his 'freaky' bright eyes.

"Hmmm.." I leaned closer to him and looked around in them, trying to see if there was contact lenses in there.

I couldn't see any.

I huffed in frustration. This was a _really_ good costume.

Then I felt excitement fire up in my heart. Maybe it wasn't a costume. Maybe this was real.

Or, maybe I'm just a freak with an over-active imagination.

A loud 'thump' ruined the awkward staring moment.

"GHA!" Jamie scowled. I turned to look at her, and guess where she was. On the floor.

"Don't tell me. You jumped and then you fell, right?"

She frowned at me in response.

I helped her up and then turned back to Kurt and the blonde boy. "Right. So, besides our totally dramatic but brilliant entry, and our weirdness, I'm going to introduce ourselves. I'm Tessa, and this is Jamie," I gestured to her.

Kurt, even though I knew who he was, nodded, pointed at himself, then jabbed a thumb in the blonde's direction. "Nice to meet you. I'm Kurt, and zhis is Bobby,"

I lit up with recognition. "Oh my goshh! Bobby! Of course! I can totally see it now!" I elbowed Jamie and nodded as if to make more of a point.

She rolled her eyes and then smacked herself on the arm. Hard.

I looked at her like she was crazy. Which, any sensible person would.

"What? I'm trying to wake myself up!" She cried.

I gave her a headshake then turned back to Kurt and Bobby. (Hehehe! You wouldn't believe how cool it was to do that!) "So since we're new, can you guy's give us a tour?"

Being the kind X-Men they were, they agreed.

The Mansion looked just like I remembered it from memory, but I was distracted because Jamie kept-

THWAK!

"Will you STOP that?" I shrieked.

She frowned, but didn't say anything. But at least she stopped hitting herself, right?

But no. She walked away from me, and me, being the curious person I am, followed her. She led me to the bathroom. Which, for me, wasn't a good thing. Because Kurt and Bobby weren't able to come in there. But when I actually looked back, I realize they weren't following us.

"Crap Monkeys."

Anyway, once we were there, she dunked her head into the sink and turned the water on.

"Jamie!" I screeched condescendingly. I walked over and turned the water off and narrowed my eyes at her. "If this is a dream, you'll wake up later. None of your techniques are working, obviously. So stop."

She scowled at me, but with a little more persuading, obliged.

I beamed at her and waved for her to follow. "Now come on! I'm gonna go find me a blue furry hunk!"

I heard her laughing behind me. "Did you really just say 'hunk'?" She asked incredulously. I shrugged and threw her a glance over my shoulder. "Made you laugh, didn't it?" I win.

Then I stopped in my tracks and gasped so big that I think I drew in bugs. I whipped around and took her by the shoulders, unconsciously making my long painted fingernails dig into her skin. "Oh my gosh! Jamie! JAMIE!" I paused for dramatic affect.

She winced overdramatically. "I'm only_ half_ deaf, you know!" It's true. She is.

I ignored her comment. "Jaaamiiiee! What if! Like! Oh my gosh!"

"Get to the point already!"

"What if we have superpowers!" I exclaimed.

I think I saw her laugh at me out of the corner of my eye. But I'm not sure, because I turned away and did a Superman pose. "Wonderwoman to the rescue!" I turned around to face her again. "Just think about it! We could be mutants now, too, you know!"

She gave me a look. "I doubt it, Tess." Then she looked to be in thought. "But being a wolf hybrid _would_ be pretty cool.."

I grinned. "See? We should go find a teacher for analysis." I gasped again. "Oh my gosh! Beast! I totally want to meet Beast!" I grabbed her by the hand. "Come on! To the subba-cement we goo!"

She grinned behind me.

I always call the subbasement the subba-cement, because that's what it looks like. Really! It does! Read it. Subbasement. (Sub-Bah-See-Meant!)

Anyway. We got there, (After getting lost a few times; to which Jamie declared that I was an idiot.) but you know what we found? Not Beast.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S HUGH JACKMAN!" I cried frantically, "AND HALLE BERRY!"

In case you don't know who they are, those are the actors in the X-Men movies. Wolverine and Storm.

I think I blacked out from excitement for a minute, there.

"What the hell?" Jamie shrieked. "The actors are in on this too?"

I gaped at them. They, on the other hand, were looking at us like we were crazy.

"The Hell?" I heard Hugh Jackman mutter.

I continued to gape.

"I think you must have us confused with someone else," Halle Berry calmly said. No joke, her voice sounded like honey flowing slowly over open wounds. (My ex-dad is a beekeeper. Honey cures TONS of thing's.)

As said before, I gaped.

After maybe.. Oh.. I don't know... five minutes of gaping, I looked over at Jamie and murmured, "Now I _know_ this has to be a celebrity prank."

I did a full circle of my surrounding's. "Pauline? Danielle? Angela? Gigi? You can come out now. This has been a really great joke!" I said loudly. I looked back to Hugh and Halle. "A great surprise, too!"

You know what response I got? Nadda. Just silence and strange looks from the two actors who's names are weird to say in the same sentence.

Oh, come on. Just try it. 'Hugh and Halle went to the mall to go sit on a pew.'

Okay, I know that sentence made no sense, but you get my point.

Halle Berry (You'd never believe how weird but oddly pleasurable it was to actually be there and say that.) stepped a little bit forward from the desk she had been previously hunched over.

She gestured to herself, "I am Ororo," She said. I gaped completely unbelievingly at her. "But here at the Mansion I am known as Storm." Still, with the gaping.

I turned my head to look at Jamie and then gave her a, 'They're crazy!' expression.

Halle gestured toward Hugh. (Again with the weird two names in the same sentence! AAAH!)

"This is.." The pause was so short I almost missed it. "Wolverine."

At the time, I had thought she probably just forgot her line or something. But now I realize it probably had something to do with Logan's secretive side or something of the sort.

I gave Jamie that look again. Then I gestured with my eyes to them as if to further prove my point. She just returned my look with raised eyebrows.

I looked back at Halle and clapped my hands behind my back. "Uhh, yeah.." I said slowly, trying to figure out how to pick my words.

"But.." I drawled the word out. "Your also Halle Berry. AND Catwoman." Boy did I laugh at the lines in that movie. That scriptwriter really did not do a good job at all on the poor film. Kudos to the costume designer, though...

Halle looked at me, again, like I was crazy. Only this time it had more confusion in the mixture.

"Oh, boy," Jamie groaned. "NOW you've got her started.."

I suppressed a grin. Now was not the time to be silly. Purely business here, people.

"Your also Emily Franklin, Claire, Jaclyn, Rene, Debbie porter," I counted on my fingers while I went off on the character name listing. "Vivian, Natalie, Cory, Angela Lewis, Queen, Kathleen Mercer, Jean, Nisi, Nina..." And from there on out, my mouth was clamped shut by Jamie's hand.

Jamie shook her head in mock sadness. "You sad, sad, movie stalker. You really need to get out more."

I narrowed my brows in mock anger, and against her palm, gave a muffled cry that was supposed to be: "Movie stalker! I'M the model, remember! I get out! I DO! Besides, who's the Doctor Who? freak? Huh? Just because I'm a geek-"

But it ended up sounding more like, "Mv awker! Mft deh moootele rmmbfhr! I geh ou! I OOO! Beshdes, hoo thhh Doctor Hooo frehhzzhh? Hpfffthh? Jzzh Becauzzzee MMpfth gee-"

But even then, I knew she understood what I was saying. I mean, come on. It's Jamie. She would know what I was saying even if I couldn't speak. (And that's not just because I know sign language, either. She can't sign it. Therefore, that solution is out of the picture.)

But if you'll notice, my rant was cut short. 'But by who?', you ask. Why, Hugh Jackman of course! (Who all can say THAT, huh? I bet not you!)

"What the hell are you two talking about?" He scowled incredulously. What a feat, to SCOWL incredulously.

I removed Jamie's hand and looked at him as if he should know. Which, let's be reasonable here, people. He should!

"You know exactly what we're-" I looked at Jamie and raised an eyebrow, "Well, mostly what I'M talking about."

Hugh frowned. Both him and Halle shared a glance. "We should take them to the Professor." Halle said quietly.

I suddenly brightened up, eyes wide and mouth forever curved into a grin. "Oh my gosh.." I breathed. That earned looks from both actors and Jamie, but Jamie probably already knew what I was thinking. I turned to Jamie and put my hands on her shoulders. I swear tears were welling in my eyes. "The Professor." I told her. "If all these people are going to look like their actors from the movies, - Minus Kurt and Bobby - then... then..." I turned away from her. Tears WERE welling in my eyes!

"I'm going to meet..." I sniffed, "PATRICK STEWART!" I cried dramatically.

I half-fake-sobbed loudly for another thirty seconds before turning to Jamie again. I didn't even have to look to know Halle and Hugh had gignormously freaked out expressions. "Come on, Jamie! He's been my role model for as long as I can remember!"

I turned away again, doing theatre poses to liven up the speech I was making. "Star Trek! I remember watching it with my Mama(Grandmother) all the time when I was younger.. Oh, boy, those were the days! Four years old and living in a scorching-hot desert with sand everywhere you look! It's a wonder we had cable. But that's besides the point! Patrick Stewart made Star Trek.. Brilliant! Of course, I like the older Star Trek, But.. Just.. I love both! Ahh, Star Trek.."

Jamie groaned loudly. "I don't want to hear about your geek loves! Next thing you know you'll be going on about Star Wars... UGH. I HATE Star Wars."

Sadly, it is true. It's the one thing that keeps us apart, during times of great turmoil. (AKA In times of, "OMGSH JAMIE! I CAN'T BELIEVE LUKE JUST SAID THAT!" Her response: I don't care.)

Hugh looked at us as if he were grasping the situation. "Wait a second, here. Are you two going off about_ Star Trek_?" He asked incredulously.

I put my hands on my hips and raised my eyebrows, grin in place. "Well, I was. But now Jamie brought Star Wars into the picture, so who knows where this conversation could go."

That earned another groan from Jamie.

Halle stepped forward. "I think we should take you two to see the Professor. He's the one who owns the Mansion."

Thank you, Captain Obvious.

Alright, alright, fine. I know she has no clue we know. I'll be nice.

"That sounds like a good plan." I elbowed Jamie and nodded, face almost split in two by my smile.

**Five minutes later...**

Well, as you can probably guess by the time skip I've provided you with above, we made our way to the Professor's office. There, we sat down on the comfortable chairs sitting in front of his desk. Why do they even use that term, anyway? Sitting? Chairs can't sit.

"Hello. I am Professor Charles Xavier, and-" Blah blah blah I wasn't paying attention, so I don't even remember what he said to us besides that. (In fact, I'm not even sure he said the words I just put down at all!) Jamie was probably paying attention, though. You should take it up with her.

My thought train went a little like this:(From now on we shall make thoughts be in italics!) _Oh my gosh! Patrick Stewart! He looks so much more realistic in real life. I guess there's a reason for that, but still... Wow, just look at him. This is so cool. It's like meeting Superman or something. Gasp! I wonder if I CAN meet Superman! I mean, surely there's... Nahh. I know I won't be able to. I mean, it's two different universes. But still, that would be pretty cool. I think it would be cool to meet the Hulk, too... Hmm... Oh my gosh! And what about Erik? And Mystique? Hey wait a second! What universe are we even really in, anyways? I mean, sure, an X-Men one, but.. Hey.. There's different versions. Shouldn't you be able to tell by the way they look?_

I paused in my trail of thought._ You know, I can't even really tell. I mean, there's all these actor doppelgangers, but then Kurt looks alot like he did in the comics. And Bobby.. Well, he looks like Bobby. In other words, he doesn't look like his actor. But wait now here a second... What does that even mean? Does that mean we're in a-..  
><em>

Why is it every time someone is about to or does have an epiphany, they're interrupted?

"Thank you. We'll just go to our rooms now." Jamie said to Patrick, - Or, I guess, Professor - though I could clearly tell that her focus was on me.

Me, being the brilliant person I am, with all my linguistic mastery, decided to utter a word that summed up just about everything I wanted to know right then.

"Huh?"

Jamie stood up and drug me by the arm, headed for the doorway. "We're going to be staying here, dumb-dumb. If you had been listening you would know this."

I allowed myself to be dragged away with her, and not even caring(Or perhaps it was thinking) about what whoever thought of my next words, I replied, "Oh. Well, if people would just be more interesting, then maybe I'd listen more often. Not my fault we just got sucked into an alternate dimension. By the way, I hope you explain what's going on. Because really, I _wasn't_ listening."

I think from that point Jamie started dragging me faster out the doorway. "You idiot!" She whispered, once we were some ways down the hall. "They don't know yet."

I made a silent, 'Ohhhh' and decided from then on to just focus on keeping up with her fast pace.

Some few seconds later, we made it to a room and then I was dragged into it. She closed the door behind us and then leaned against it. We both looked at the room that was apparently going to be ours. It was plain, to be honest. But that was to be expected. Just two beds, both of which had nightstands that lamps sat on. Next to the door, creating a small semi-wall, was the closet. Over on the left side of the room was the door to the bathroom(Which I was thankful to have) and leaning against the wall of the bathroom was a plain desk with an uncomfortable-looking chair in front of it. Way in front, on the other side of the room from where Jamie and I were, was a window connected to an outside balcony. In all, it kind of reminded me of a hotel or something. Not a Mansion.

Well, whatever. It was still pretty cool.

I shrugged and walked over to the bed nearest to the window. "I call this bed." And without further ado, plopped myself down on it.

I looked over my shoulder at Jamie and could see she had an eyebrow raised. "You want to freeze? Go ahead."

I just smirked in return.

After using the lovely bathroom mentioned earlier, (Which was also pretty bland) I sat down on my new bed and criss-crossed my leg's. After removing the slippers I wear all the time, of course.

Which, that made a thought occur to me. "Jamie, we don't have any clothes."

She looked at me with a smirk firmly planted on her face. "Yes we do," She said. I looked at her curiously and was about to tell her besides the ones on our backs, when she raised a hand and wiggled the appendages on it. "Five-finger discount."

I looked at her, confused. "What? Is that a reference to stealing?"

She face-palmed herself. "You really don't know what that means?"

I looked at her in all pureness. "Nope."

Head still in her hand, she groaned, "Yes, Tessa, it means stealing."

I grinned and threw myself a little party. I was right! (I know you guy's probably think I'm stupid now. But maybe if I explain to you that I was born blond, it'll clear thing's up a little. No offense to blondes, of course. And the fact that I was homeschooled also might help. But don't worry! These thing's are natural! Like when I was in middle school, I didn't even know it. And by the time I figured it out, I was moving into highschool! So me figuring little thing's like this out is completely normal for me. No sweat. Besides, if worst comes to worst, at least I'm not as stupid at that one guy. He sold his car because gas was too high, then gas went down and he was asking all around how to get his car back. Someone tried contacting him, but it turns out he had sold his computer to help pay for internet connection.)

Which, besides the stealing and the money-deficient guy, the talk about no clothes made _another_ thought occur to me. "Hey wait a second. I don't even have regular shoes!"

She glanced at the slippers on the floor then looked back up to me. "That's gonna be a problem. How are you going to outrun the cops?"

I burst out into laughter, all the while trying to coherently spurt out, "You can't be serious about the stealing!"

I didn't give her time to answer. Because now that I had thought about the shoes, it just kept on making the thought train roll. I sat up straight(I had fallen over on the bed in laughter with the cops joke), my grin fading away to be replaced with discovery. "Hey! I don't even have my cellphone!"

"Check your boobs." She told me. I went, 'Ahhh!' and nodded, then did so. (Yes, I keep thing's in my bra. Might as well, right? I mean, they're big enough to hold stuff up, why not stuff thing's in? Besides. Bra's are _supposed_ to be mulTITaskers.) I frowned after a thorough investigation and shook my head. "Nope. Not there."

She nodded, "I don't have mine either. I left it in my bag, which was left in your room. It's probably still there, along with everything else."

I confirmed I had heard her, then another thought struck me.

I worriedly gaped at her. "What about Mama and Papa and Clarence and My mom and Marietta and everyone else? Where are _they_?" (Clarence = Dad Mama = Grandma [She raised me] Papa = Grandpa [He raised me too] Marietta = Little sister.) Then my face turned into one of sorrow. "And the kitties! Oh, my poor babies! What will happen to them? Are they alright?"

As I continued to rant on about the welfare of my cat's, Jamie shook her head and stated, "You are _so_ going to be the crazy cat lady when you get older."

In between my rants I answered, "I already am."

But then before I could even begin to start _really_ worrying about my family, more thoughts began to flow out to me. I looked at Jamie again, eyes wide with growing concern. "Jamie! I didn't even get to pack a toothbrush! My teeth! They're going to rot!" I cried, both my hands reaching up to lay on my cheeks.

Before she could answer, my eyes grew more bug-eyed and I jumped off the bed. "And nailpolish! NAILPOLISH! I DON'T HAVE ANY NAILPOLISH!" By now I was up and frantically pacing around the room. "I don't have a hairbrush! My hair is going to turn into dreadlocks!"

Then I froze. Completely, utterly, froze. Right in front of the foot of Jamie's bed. I slowly turned to her, a pure look of horror plastered on my face.

Because of all the horrible thing's that I had conjured up about this, I had just remembered of the worst one of all.

"Jamie," I said gravely.

"I forgot to shave."


	2. The Fourth Time Hell Froze Over

Well, Jamie had been right, like usual.

I didn't get much sleep(Insomnia powers: ACTIVATE!), no thanks to an extremely airy window and a really cold and windy night. In fact, when I woke up the next day, I felt more tired than before I had even got my three-hour-sleep.

I had suddenly felt very alone and colder than the night had made me feel, but I didn't have long to be alone. Jamie had woken up only a few minutes after I had, sweating and panting all the way.

I wasn't really shocked to see her like this. If anything, it was more like knowing a sad secret no one else knew. So instead of freaking out and asking if everything was okay like any normal person would have, I said, more than asked, "Another nightmare?"

I didn't move from my cross-legged position on the bed. I didn't even look away from the beautiful view the balcony window held. So as I heard her wipe away what were probably annoying unshed tears from her eyes, I watched the morning kaleidoscope of colors break through the sky and allow sunrise to make it's appearance.

Finally, after what felt like forever and took no time at all, she answered me. "Yeah," Was her simple response. Her voice sounded rough and a little shaky. It was then that I tore myself from the beautiful sunrise and looked at her. She was pale and had one hand over her eyes while the other one propped up her torso.

I glanced at the clock. 6:05 AM.

I got up and slid on my slippers. "Come on. It's late enough that someone should be up. Let's go get some breakfast."

Jamie removed the hand that had been over her eyes and sighed. "You know I never eat in the morning."

I shrugged lazily. "Yep. And then your always starving by the time lunch get's around the corner."

Jamie gave me one of her 'I'm-going-to-argue-with-you-on-this' looks and opened her mouth to protest when I waved for her to follow me as I headed to the door. "Just come on. You don't have to eat anything. If only to get your mind off the bad dream you had, come downstairs with me."

Yes, we were on the second floor. Yes, that's where all the rooms for occupants were. Yes, the kitchen was downstairs. Just thought I'd let you readers in on those little tidbits.

Jamie frowned and I could tell she was stifling another sigh, but she got out of bed anyway. I smiled happily. I mean, it didn't really matter or not whether I was in my dream universe. I still didn't want to wander around an unknown mansion(filled with hormonal mutants, no less) by myself.

When we got down into the kitchen, I saw an incredibly shocking scene that will forever be etched into my memory. There, sitting at the island, was a man. A man drinking coffee. A man drinking coffee and reading the newspaper.

That man was none other than Logan(otherwise known as Hugh Jackman).

Oh, shush. I know it's probably not that surprising to YOU, but Hell! To me, it was absolutely shocking! I mean, Logan? THE **Wolverine**? Just casually sitting there drinking coffee and catching up on the new charities in town? Not likely! And yet there he was, doing just that. Hell froze over.

Well, actually, now that I think about it, it really isn't that surprising. But the point is, HUGH JACKMAN was still READING THE NEWSPAPER RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE.

It was a big duh that he knew we had entered the room(Hell, he probably heard us talking all the way upstairs!). He just didn't look up from his newspaper. But, as said before, I was baffled that his character was sitting there being so... Normal. So, naturally, I blurted: "What, no beer?"

He looked up from his read and raised an eyebrow at me. "Morning, Obi-wan."

Quite the contrary to what you were probably expecting my reaction to be(i.e.: OH MY GOD YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME THAT. YOU FAG!), I immediately beamed. He already had an insulting nickname picked out for me!

Unfortunately, he then nodded at Jamie in recognition and murmured a cocky, "You too, Spock."

The reaction was instantaneous.

Jamie didn't even spare him a glance. Instead, she turned her head slowly and menacingly towards ME. I met her death glare head-on. "We've only been here a day and you've already sunk me down with you on the idiocy boat. Why am I not surprised."

My grin never faltered. "Glad to have you aboard, matie!"

Then she turned fully towards me and shifted her expression into a sickeningly sweet one. "You know, at first I thought I was going to have to kill HIM for saying that to me. But now? NOW I see that it's all YOUR fault. Therefore, the person I have to kill..."

She need say no more. My grin turned mockingly nervous. "You wouldn't murder me right here in front of Logan, would you? He's a witness!"

Her sweet expression didn't change, and neither did her overly honey-covered voice. "You have to sleep sometime."

Across the way, I felt Logan's unwavering stare and increasingly unsettling frown. I diverted my gaze to him instead of Jamie's psycho-menace face. When his frown didn't give way after several moments, I felt my grin go stale and eventually turn into a frown that mirrored his. Did I say something wrong?

I waited. He frowned. It became a silent staring/frowning contest. I broke first. "What?" I uttered smoothly, sounding every bit like the moron I was.

Then my heart momentarily stopped.

"I never told you my name was Logan."

I stood there, my mouth flopping open, speechless for a few seconds. Then, using my incredible acting skills, closed my flapping mouth and said in a voice that broke under the pressure of his gaze, "Oh. Yeah. I heard a couple kid's talking about you and they said your name was Logan. Sorry if I was wrong, Wolverine. I meant no disrespect."

And then he did something weird. He sniffed the air and then his frown got deeper. And I'm not talking, 'Oohh yummy cookies! Must. Smell. Cookies...' sniffing the air. I'm talking about, 'I'm a predator! Must.. Sniff... Prey!' sniffing the air.

It was unnerving.

I looked at Jamie with an expression I hoped dearly conveyed my thoughts: He can't smell lies, can he?

She didn't say anything. Her eyebrows creased together as if she didn't understand my unspoken question, but her eyes said something else. They said something weird that I couldn't put my finger on.

I gave her my own look of not understanding then looked back to Logan. "So... Uh... What are you reading up on?"

He glanced up at me and then disregarded my existence before he stood up, folding his newspaper in half as he walked to the sink to dump out his unfinished coffee. "Nothing. I'm going to the Danger Room to blow off some steam before the students start the first session of the day."

I perked up. "Danger room session?" I was going to say something more, like, 'OMG really? Can I come? !' but remembered at the last second that we were trying to be inconspicuous to our large expanse of Marvel knowledge.

His frown dissipated slightly and he looked over at me with a glint of amusement in his eyes. "Yeah. You should join us and see what it's like."

And it all went downhill from there.

But pause!

There was one more important thing that happened before we went to go greet our death.

I walked over to a basket, grabbed a fruit, and stuck it in Jamie's face in a Superman pose. "Buhh-nahh-naaahhhh!"

**5-10 minutes later...**

And this, my dear readers, is what happens when you tell Logan to do his worst.

"JAAAMIE!" I shrieked, BARELY making it out of the way of a flying ball with spikes.

No, I'm serious. They had those. And I'm not kidding you when I say that I was really fearful for my life.

"A little busy!" Jamie glared, though I'm sure it wasn't because she was angry at me. It was probably more because there was a giant robot trying to squeeze her beautiful slimy guts out.

Okay, this may seem really shallow of me, but once you live with my stepfather for 10 years, you kind of get used to life-and-death situations and it doesn't affect you as much as it should. So while the spiky stuff vanished into a wall and was replaced by scary-looking hobo rapist men, I stood ram-rod straight and looked over to Jamie, completely unfazed by the change in atmosphere and environment(apparently the beautiful world with fire, explosions and dead grass wasn't enough, so now we were in a maze of dark gross-looking alleys in the heart of New York, New york) and instead concerned with more pressing matters.

Like so:

"Jamie! I forgot to brush my hair this morning!" Then I gasped. "Jamie! I don't even HAVE a hairbrush! !"

She glared at me again, and this time I'm sure it wasn't because of mortal danger.

Okay, this may seem to you a bit surprising or a bit glorified, but I promise it really isn't. Being trained in these thing's makes you.. Well... Less conscious of doing them. So, as was about to be said, I didn't even have to look to know that there was a virtual man behind me about to attempt to whack my head off. I ducked without even looking at him and then twirled around and sent the velocity from the twirl into a palm hit in the guy's jugular. The guy was sent backwards, gasping and doing this weird gurgling-type noise. I shook my head as if he was a two-year-old caught picking his nose.

"Really, you _should_ be more aware of your surrounding's." Then I easily slid into a familiar kung fu position.

There was a little trickle of I'm-definitely-outnumbered fear that ran down my neck when the guy I knocked over got back up and three other men joined him. I quickly shoved it off and frowned at them poutingly(nope. Poutingly is not a word. Don't even bother going to look it up[*coughnotthatIdidoranythingco ugh*). "Why can't it just be like in the movies where you hit'em once and they're gone for good? You guy's better not make me break a nail."

Seriously. Have any of you ever broken a nail before? It hurts like HELL.

And then as one guy ran towards me, I ducked and fell to the side like a little chicken instead of a I'll-kick-your-ass-without-breaking-a-sweat-looking kung fu person. Luckily, he tripped over my curled up body and fell flat on his face. I grinned like a moron, happy with my accidental achievement.

I stood up and backed away from the other nearing men. Three left, one injured? I could take them.

..Probably.

I never got to find out, because the room shifted again.

We were now on a long road in the middle of nowhere, decorated with lavish dried-up cactus's and brilliant dead sand. I looked past the end. The road stretched on for miles and miles and didn't stop or turn.

I looked over to Jamie, a few feet away from me, and held my breath.

Then it came. The 'interesting' part.

A loud whistle came from behind us. I jumped and twirled around, Jamie turned stiffly and prepared to take action.

But what we saw was nothing even remotely close to what we were expecting.

"Coach.. _Carr? ?_" I blurted incredulously.

Have any of you ever seen Mean Girls? Yeah. Coach Carr. He was standing right there.

"WHAT THE HELL? ? ?" Jamie shrieked.

I looked at her with much the same expression of exploded shock.

He pointed at us with force, expression completely mean-looking and solemn. Then, in a voice full of authority, he ordered, "Do the chicken dance!"

My mouth dropped. Hell just froze over. Again.

"I will not be part of your weird sex games!" I told him, once I finally got my voice back a few seconds later. I inwardly winced at how my voice held no condescension and instead unbelief.

Jamie looked hatefully at him. "Oh, I'll show you a birdy dance." And then promptly flipped him the bird.

In normal conditions, I would have laughed.

Instead, he then turned into a monstrously large Barney. "Fifty laps around the room!" The Barney roared. Enter where Hell had again froze over.

Pause. You may think this is completely unreal. But I promise it will all make sense later.

..Probably. Unpause.

Jamie was completely serious-faced when she solemnly told the monster, "Fuck you, Barney."

Barney began to waddle towards us. I blanched. Jamie looked unphased. "Please! My DOG can run faster than that."

Whew. That's saying something.

No, for real. Her dog is half slug.

Barney took a swipe at her. Jamie dodged almost effortlessly. "Please! I'm the pattiecake QUEEN!"

I couldn't help it. I burst into a fit of giggles.

Then Barney turned into a realllly scary-looking mutant. My giggles and grin disappeared.

Jamie ran behind me then pushed me towards it. "Tessa! I choose YOU!" I fell flat on my face then sat up and looked at the mutant. Then I looked back at Jamie's retreating figure.

"Use 'poke with a stick'!" She called over her shoulder.

I made this face: D8

As I was about to comment that I was not a Pokemon, I felt my head get hit from behind. My vision warbled and I fell back over on my face.

Distantly, I saw Jamie stop and turn back around. Her eyes narrowed into slits. "I'm going to break you like a Kit-Kat bar."

I swear I heard the theme music for Mortal Kombat start up when she said that.

Then she ran past me and all I heard was death while my world faded into black.

A few momentos later, I was awake again.

My world came into focus with Jamie and Logan's face. Jamie looked satisfied, Logan looked ... Well, he looked mostly like he did the first time I saw him. And the time after that. Scowling.

So I did the first thing that came to mind, not really completely out of my fuzz. "You gotta problem with meh, buddy? 'Cause yur always scowlin' at meh."

He scowled more.

I stood up and didn't even almost fall over. I was pleased with this fact.

I recognized the room we were in as the Danger Room control center.

"So..." I drawled. "What was with Barney?"

Wolverine shook his head and growled something that sounded distinctly like, "Damn Deadpool.." And immediately after, as if he had muttered nothing at all, he said, "Someone tampered with the controls while I went to pick up something from the other side of the room."

I blinked. And then stared. And then I blinked again. "You mean... you turned your back for a little itty bit... and someone programmed a purple dinosaur from a children's show to attack us?"

Jamie raised a finger as if she were raising her hand in class. "Don't forget the perverted jackass from an overrated teen movie."

I pointed at her like a mother does in reprimand for her children. "Hey, I liked that movie. Lindsay Lohan totally got me with her 'I'm a bitch' debut."

Logan looked at us like we were both the stupidest people to live.

Hmm... Which makes me wonder... is stupidest a word?

The dictionary is your friend. [Insert Jedi mind wave here]

"You two..."

Just then another person I didn't recognize at all walked in, eyes frantic and searching for someone. When the girl's hazel orbs landed on Logan, she rushed forward as if the world was going to end. "There's trouble," She told him hurriedly. "We have to get to the X-Jet immediately!" He seemed alert and ready for anything and was heading for the door when the girl grabbed his arm. "No time..!" And promptly melted into the floor, taking Logan with her.

I stood with my mouth open and gaped at the place they disappeared for a good few minutes, neither me nor Jamie talking, before I finally said, "Well... I guess.. We unofficially met Kitty. Or.. a least.. I think that was Kitty... That could have just been some random person with Kitty's abilities, but.."

We both stood there in silence for a few seconds before I decided we needed to do something.

I turned to Jamie like a bunny rabbit turns to a five 'o clock ho. "Jamie, we need a plan of action."

She raised an eyebrow. "Uhh, yeah. How about we get the Hell out of here before Deadpool comes back?"

I waved a hand at her as if that couldn't be more unimportant. "No, no, not that. We need CLOTHES. And TOILETRIES. We need to go shopping."

Her face lit up and she snapped a finger and pointed at me as if I had made an amazing revelation. "Ohh, yeah! Great idea. Ever heard of money?" She rolled her eyes. "My debit card? Yeah. Not here. Back at home."

I squinted at her as if I was trying to decipher if she was actually there or not. "What happened to your 'five finger discount'?"

She rolled her eyes in her trademark, 'you're an idiot' expression. "That only works to a certain extent. Small stuff, yeah. Not a whole freakin' barrel of clothes and tooth brushes and shit."

I shrugged nonchalantly. "Eh. Mother always stole flat screens and other expensive crap from stores. Why wouldn't we be able to get away with a few shirts?"

She looked at me blankly for a few seconds before she crossed her arms and said in a flat voice, "Because stealing is wrong."

I looked at her as if she were a satanist walking into a church. "Hell just froze over." Then I blinked and shook my head, "No. No. Nevermind. Hell already froze over when we came into this dimension. So... Hell just had a sunny day."

She wagged a finger at me in a negative gesture. "No, Hell had a sunny day when Coach Pervert told us to do the chicken dance and Barney started chasing up around the middle of God-knows-where."

I nodded. "Good point. So I guess Hell DID just freeze over... again."

If Jamie was going to say anything to that, she never got the chance. The next second, I stepped away and pressed my palms to my head as if I had a horrible headache. "AAAAAGGH! I CAN'T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE!" And then proceeded to fall to my knees and scream.

Jamie plugged her ears before yelling, "What are you talking about!"

I stopped my scream and started hyperventilating. "The HAIR! I can't HANDLE it!"

Jamie looked at me in a struggle to understand my meaning.

I knee-walked over to her and grabbed her shins in replacement of shoulders. "It's because I forgot to shave! IT'S KILLING ME, JAMIE! I'M DYING! DYYYIINNGGG!" Then proceeded to fake faint.

Jamie raised an eyebrow at me. "Just ask someone for a razor, dumbass." And then proceeded to walk out the door and leave me.

"Daddy is leaving mommy!" I cried, back on my knees.

She turned back to look at me momentarily. "Yes. I am."

"Where are you going?" I frowned.

She shrugged. "Away from here."

"But Daddy! I... How could you leave me here when I'm on my hands and knees for you?"

I saw her choke on a laugh before she stumbled out of the room. I followed, like a diligent little puppy.

/ / / / / /

"Wow. Why'd we come back up here, again?" I asked.

Jamie frowned. "To get away from a possible encounter with a homicidal maniac named Deadpool?"

I shook my head and watched everything going on around us.

The world of upstairs was in complete disarray. People were running around like busy bees on steroids and anyone who stopped long enough to spare us a glance either cared too little for us and moved on or cared too much for us and looked very suspicious. THEN moved on.

They all looked slightly nervous and a tad bit worried with just a pinch of business-like monotone to cover their faces. The perfect mixture to scream: we're in deep shit.

I turned to my better half. "Well. Now I'm curious. What's going on?"

She raised an eyebrow boredly. "What ISN'T going on with the X-Men? If it's not Apocalypse it's probably some _other_ evil villain going on a quest to dominate the world."

I shrugged. "Eh. It's worth finding out, anyway. It could be worth our while."

She gave me a blank stare. "I doubt it."

I raised an eyebrow this time. "What would you rather do? Go shopping?"

"Well..."

And that was the fourth time Hell froze over that day.


End file.
